Those crazy Republicans

Oct 29, 2004

I can't find a great link to this story -- just an audio clip on NPR (which is where I heard the story).

This is pure evil genius. The republicans send out like 200 thousand mailings to newly registered voters in Ohio. They send them out with the fancy "Do Not Forward" stamp on them, so that if the person moved, the mail gets returned. Well, they get returns on like 30 thousand of the mailings

What to do with the returns? Simple, they file a lawsuit banning these people from voting, since clearly their voter registrations are incorrect.

Ouch. That's just cold. And Evil. And Genius.

Bad Day for Rob and RJ

Oct 22, 2004

I just got mail from my buddy Rob, it's both funny and a horrifying glimpse of things to come:

unfortunately rj is in the ER with something completely minor but it needs to be resolved. basically he’s had something stuck in his nose for a week and we didn’t know :(

if you want more details, keep reading. if you’re not up for disgusting stuff, stop right now. seriously. I mean it.

for about a week now, rj has had killer bad breath. I'm talking knock you over from 4 feet away, oh-my-god-is-that-his-mouth-or-his-diaper kind of stink. brush his teeth multiple times per day, give him orange juice, wash his hands a lot - nothing works.

so today I take him to the doctor. she immediately knows what's going on and looks in his nose. yep, he's had something crammed up there for a week. she tries to get it out. won't budge, but of course there's an infection so he starts bleeding pretty good and he's screaming.

she then turns to me and tells me what we're going to try next. I kid you not, we pin him down, close off one nostril, then I have to blow in his mouth REALLY hard, to try to dislodge it from inside. this doesn't really work, except it DOES blow blood and snot all over my mouth and face.

I'm thinking, "wow, I really AM a parent now. this is stinking FOUL!"

then she takes another look. seems like it's budged a little so she goes back in with the tweezers and pulls out about half an inch of sponge. you can imagine what the sponge looks like at this point.

she takes another look, and yep, there's MORE in there. so we try the whole CPR trick again. more nastiness blown all over my face. but no, it doesn't budge.

next stop, emergency room. keep in mind I'm by myself, no one has had lunch, and I have ella in tow. and it's raining. when we get there the ER folks tell us we're going to wait 90 minutes. yeah that sounds like fun.

$100 says your day hasn't been that eventful...

Poor Rob, Poor RJ, Poor me... that someday bad stuff like this will happen to me. But Hurray for everyone else, who got a good laugh at Rob's expense :)

Not in the face!

Oct 18, 2004

In my last entry, I made a reference to my son's rather interesting habit of pee'ing on his face when we change him. Sure enough, about an hour after I wrote that entry, he did it again. I pretty much had to laugh.

I undo the dirty diaper... and you know, just kind of give him some air down there. See if he is gonna do the usual. Everything seems safe, so I go into standard standard diaper changing technique... left hand grabbin his ankles and lifting him into impossible angles, right hand tossin the nasty diaper and slappin the new one under him. It's at this point that left hand is feeling a bit more baby movement than usual...

I look up, and Brendan is whippin' his head back and forth trying to avoid the constant stream of pee to his face. By the time I get him back down and the diaper covering the action, the poor kid can't even open his eyes, because there is a puddle in his eye socket. I felt bad for the poor kid, but laughed plenty.

In other (non disgusting) news, I can now safely say that babies are wierd. He can be done feeding from the breast, be halfway through a bottle, and just *freak out* cuz I am sittin him up to burp. It's like he is *starving* and thus letting me know my screaming bloody murder. But the thing is... I know he isn't starving! The time for screaming was well before we fed him, not when he is almost done. Stick the bottle back in his mouth, and he is instantly happy, right up until the blessed food coma kicks in. Can fault his technique though, he is already put on a pound since birth.

Thankfully Boring

Oct 17, 2004

I get a lot of questions about how I am liking parenthood so far... so here goes. Mostly, I just think he is boring.

I suppose I should pick a different word, since "boring" has such a negative connotation, but hey... I am a new dad... I am tired. Thinking takes effort, so let's just stick with boring. However, you must note that I mean "boring" in the most rich and meaningful way possible (no, I don't mean I find fatherhood rich and meaningful, just the word "boring"). Here is what I mean:

It's odd what pleases you as a parent. "Hey look, he is looking at the bear above his head!" and "Wow, he throws down such manly burps" and "Amazing, for once he didn't pee on his own face while changing him". But these things really are pleasing me, and I look forward to him doing more exciting things. For now, the boredom is appreciated.

Yellow is now officially *not* my favorite color

Oct 04, 2004

Let's see if I can remember anything that has happened since we got Brendan home. I am sure there were diapers involved, but so far I have been fairly adept at avoiding them. Having "The Grandma" in the house rocks!

Our day is primarily focused on food. Hmm, that actually doesn't sound that different that our pre-Brendan life! :) But it's a bit more insane now. Ignoring the fact that Leanne now wants to eat impressive amounts of food (must have something to do with all the extra space in her body now)... I can tell you that feeding a baby takes a lot of effort. He eats every 3 hours, and the feeding regimem seems to take about 1 hour... that leaves 2 hour stretches for sleeping. Unless of course, *we* want to eat, shower, etc (where apparently "etc" includes blogging). All the talk of lack of sleep by new parents is certainly understood!

During my awake and non-feeding hours, I seem to have taken a new strong interest in photography. I have been taking lots of pictures of the munchkin and futz away my free time organizing and editing the photos. This is one of the rare times where I am truely impressed with technology. Digital photography just rocks. I hook my camera up to the usb port, it pulls all photos into a new folder then I can easily turn the vast majority of my photos from somewhat crappy to somewhat accurate with just a few mouse clicks. I am actually surprised by how well it all works. Now, let's see how long I can avoid buying a new camera. :)

So far Brendan is an incredible sleepy head. It's even hard to get him to stay awake during feedings. Usually we have to strip him down and play with him to keep him awake while he eats, then he is right back to sleep until the next feeding. I assumed that was pretty normal (after all, he has been through quite an ordeal...), but apparently that's a bit extreme on the sleepy front.

This became alot more clear today at our regualar post-birth followup exam. Brendan had been a little jaundiced, but not enough to worry about, while we were in the hospital. And at home, we noticed his eyes were a bit yellow, but didn't notice it getting worse. Well, when they measured his levels... it was higher than the accuracy of their test equipment (never a good sign). They sent us right to a lab to get a blood test, which gives more accurate results, then sent us right to our pediatrician. We visisted with him for like 5 minutes, before he sent us right back to the hospital for treatment (which was like 200 yards from the Lab, but 15 minutes from the pediatrician, hurmph).

Apparently, the jaundice explains why he was so sleepy. His little body is working away trying to deal with that, which makes him sleepy. Anyway, now we are back in the hospital... same place where he was born. Except, now he is in the "Special Care Nursery" (a more pleasant way of saying what it actually is... the "Baby ICU"). Sounds scary, but I don't think it's that bad. The treatment is basically just fluids, trying to get him to eat alot (something about the bad stuff binding to proteins and getting expelled), and LOTS of light. Mostly ultra violet. It's kinda cool, you can see Brendan's room from really far away cuz it is just GLOWING this cool blue color. There are 3 sets of lights on him -- above, below plus a spot light. Expectation is 2-3 more days in the hospital.

I think our case is fairly non-good -- milder cases get to use some sort of "light suit" from the comfort of their home. Still, the problem is fairly common, the treatment well known, and Brendan is eating really well which should help him recover fast.

And once recovered, I suppose he will take up some more of our non-sleeping time, since he won't be so tired from fighting the jaundice. Sounds good to me. I want my little buddy to happy and healthy.

Update: Given that his Billi Ruben was over 23, and there was some talk of blood transfusions at 25... safe to say that his case was indeed non good However, we are now back home! Hurray! A few days and a lot of funky blue lights later... our baby is happy, healthy, and alot more awake

Wormholes

Oct 04, 2004

Great news for all the physicists in the room! I know exactly where to look for worm holes!

If you are looking for someplace that wrecks havoc on time, and causes strange shifts in the space-time continuem (go go star-trek-techno-babble!), look no farther than a hospital.

Time flucuates like mad in a hospital. While waiting for Brendan's test results, which was supposed to take 1 hour, I was able to get food twice, read three magazines, play two different video games, and pace 17 miles. Clearly not possible in one hour. How do you explain *that*?

Back when it was time to "push" Brendan out of the womb, I am told that we pushed for about 80 minutes. From what I recall, I grabbed a leg, said some encouraging words, and out popped my son. Fairly certain there was some quantum flux singularity abnormality there -- cuz I swear, 8 minutes tops.

Then there are the sudden shifts in realities. You go to the hospital because you are having contractions, you end up staying because your blood pressure is too high. You come again for contractions, but this time they are worried your baby is "flat" (heart rate does fluctuate enough). You come in to get a "gel" (goop applied to your cervix to help it start thinning), which apparently only has a 2-3% chance of causing labor... and you leave with a baby. And, of course, you head to the hospital for a routine checkup, and you make a round trip to the doctors and back, before landing in the Special Care Nursery treating jaundice.

And I would hate for you think that the worm holes are only in Seattle area hospitals. There is a lot of strange action in california as well! My mother went to have a liver transplant, and nearly died from heart failure. Actually, I think the worm holes might be stronger in california, since the reality shifts where less severe in washington. Mom has stayed near the warped space time bubbles of hospitals too long and picked up diabetes, blood clots, and who knows what else.

The sad thing is that I have no interest in worm holes, shifts in space-time, and the like, so my plan is to just avoid hospitals.